Snake stories
by Zalaine
Summary: Compilation of one shots revolving around Sir Pentious. Those story may be funny, cute, a bit sad or a bit crazy, the tone will vary depending on the story, but all will revolve around the reptilian inventor and sometime (often) his egg bois.
1. Snakeboard

_**My first time writing for this fandom. I've read a lot in it already, watched both videos (Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss) a dozen times, read up the wiki, read the comic. And now I'm finaly writing for it.**_

_**Sir Pentious isn't even my favorite character, it'd be Alastor, but the snake is the most inspiring to me. He seems so likely to get into all kind of shenanigans, and his egg bois just make it better. Plus I love snakes so much, I have two pet snakes myself.**_

_**This is the first one shot for this compilation, Sir Pentious is inspiring and I think I'll write a bunch with him. It's likely that a second one will come out soon (like less than a few hours soon). This short was inspired by the picture of him in the 666news report, with the skateboard and all. When I saw this I was stuck on imagining how in hell he would actually use this.**_

_**So here's how.**_

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**Snakeboard**

.

Yes, Sir Pentious was trying to be up to date, hip even.

No, he wasn't very good at it, not that he didn't try wholeheartedly.

.

He had recently chosen a new photo of him to be used in the medias, one that was giving away a spirit of youth and up-to-dateness if you'd ask him. Sadly the reality wasn't as faltering and he just looked desperate to appear something else than his Victorian self. Most found it cringe-worthy and only worthy to be memed, but the one thing people said about it that bugged the snake more than anything was how ridiculous of a concept a snake with a skateboard was, that he could in now way use it, proving it was just for show.

He was determined to prove them wrong. His lack of proper legs didn't change a thing in his ability to do anything !

.

He first tried by himself. He put the thing on the ground, slithered over it, was on it, parts of his tail hanging on the ground in the front and back.

"This thing is too small" was remarked dejectedly.

Not that he was talking to anyone especially. Yes, there were always eggs around, but they didn't count, they were stupid.

He went back, so he only hung on the back, and the skateboard's front lifted under his added weight at the back.

"Won't do neither"

He tried to push it back in position with the back of his tail on the ground. It worked but now he was kind of stuck and didn't have any idea of how to progress forward, it's not like he could do it the normal way.

Now he was starting to be annoyed.

He noticed a bunch of eggs looking at his endeavors, eyes wide with admiration as always. Stupid. He wasn't even succeeding there. He got angry at them.

"Make this work !"

The dozen of eggs jumped in surprise at being suddenly barked an order. They quickly surrounded him, studying the problem. The inventor wasn't even trying anymore, waiting for them to figure it out.

'_They are stupid, so if they can figure it out, it means I could have had too. So it would prove I was right and this isn't complicated. Why was I even trying when I have minions to do it for me ?_'

For several long minutes the eggs didn't do anything, just talking together and thinking. Sir Pentious was starting to be annoyed again when they started to move into action. Three of them went to the back of his tail to lift what was hanging out while the others surrounded him more closely, took hold of the skateboard and the part of his tail on it and began to pull/push him forward.

It was working !

It was really working !

He'd showed them, of course he could use a skateboard despite his tail !

This was even fun

The eggs were all cheering happily and he felt like some real champion there.

But then he felt himself sway right and left, noticing his more than fragile balance. On the ground he could spread his tail to have a good ground surface but on this contraption he couldn't. His ground surface was ridiculously small and the way the egg bois pushed him wasn't exactly steady.

It didn't take long for him to loose balance and fall on the side, his tail immediately coiling under him to prevent himself from hitting the ground. He immediately straitened up, took a second to consider his situation as the eggs were staring at him, then took on an annoyed expression.

"I don't like it ! Put this away. I've already proven my point anyway"

He then slithered away, looking nearly bored, but inside he was already planning on designing a version of this he'd be steadier on.

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_**I hope you liked it. Please be aware that reviews are autor fuel and would motivate me to write more faster.**_


	2. Aftermath

_**So, second story in this collection ! I took a bit longer to publish this one than I thought, but it's here now.**_

**_For this one I wanted to tell the aftermath of the pilot, after Sir Pentious got properly wrecked by Alastor, around the post-credit scene._**

* * *

**Aftermath**

.

Everything hurt, how he was alive he wasn't sure, but he kind of wished he wasn't. If he were dead he'd just regenerate and wake back up. He'd be vulnerable but he knew that his eggs would do everything to prevent people from approaching him. They lacked intelligence but not loyalty, they'd die for him, often do.

It's not like he could just stay down here eternally, couldn't he ? No.

He didn't want to even consider moving but he just couldn't stay here. Hi tail twitched as he started to move forward, his upper body barely above the ground. The side of the hole he was in was slippery and steep, pieces of it rolling under him, his tail having much troubles getting a grip of it. He had to start to use his hands to climb up. This was ridiculous, under normal circumstances he'd climb this effortlessly. It felt like an eternity before he finally approached the top of the hole left by the explosion of his blimp. His whole body was screaming in agony from the effort so soon after the beating. His left arm was on fire, his chest heavy and pained, his whole body felt like a giant bruise, but he elected to concern himself with this once he'd be out.

Arriving finally at the top, grasping onto the edge with both arms, a familiar excited voice (all egg bois had the same) spoke next to him "Now will you shoot me with your ray gun ?". He really didn't have the energy to deal with this kind of nonsense. To be honest he didn't even have the energy to finish dragging himself out of the hole. He let himself face-plant on the ground, a little pause won't hurt.  
At the lack of answer the egg got a bit confused "Boss ?"  
As his body got a bit slacker the snake felt himself start to slide back down. He dug his claws in the ground, letting out a startled hiss. A tiny pair of hands grabbed his arm and started to pull. The egg called out and the few other surviving ones came quickly and with their efforts combined to his, he managed to crawl out fully.

The few eggs crowded around him worriedly "Are you okay boss?", "Why are you on the ground ?", "Do you want to go back home boss ?"

He reacted to this last one "can't move right now idiot"

"Do you want us to take you home ?" they nearly seemed excited at the idea of carrying him

The exhausted and pained demon answered them sarcastically "yeah, do that". It's not like they had the strength or coordination to do that. He was surprised but shouldn't have been when they indeed then all tried to lift him, shifting around several times until they managed to have most of him off the ground and started to walk forward. He decided not to stop them, in the off chance they could actually take him home.

It took some time, and a few stares from people they passed by, for the eggs to finally get him at the intended destination. It was the place he stayed at when he wasn't in one of his blimps. He didn't stay there that often but it was always useful to have.

Once home the eggs put him down gently before one asked "what now boss ?". Sir Pentious didn't answer, he didn't even react. His eyes were still open and he still seemed vaguely aware of what was happening around him, so he wasn't dead or unconscious. The lack of any answer confused, and worried, the eggs a bit. They tried a few more times to ask for further instruction, then if he was okay, then random things as their panic grew at the unresponsiveness of their beloved boss. After a while it was obvious they wouldn't get any answer from the injured snake. One tried to shake him a bit and got weakly batted away. The egg caught the arm that was trying to get him to back away, the diminutive creature starring at the blood caking his boss's sleeve. He exchanged a glance with a nearby other, which then proceeded to roll up the sleeve slowly, revealing a ton of blood coming from a wound from which protruded what looked awfully like a broken bone.

The seriousness of the situation was enforced on the eggs by this grizzly sight, their usual enthusiasm quite ebbed by it. They proceeded to carry him again from the ground to another room, maneuvering him onto a bed before proceeding to check him for other injuries. The only open one was the broken arm, but the amount of deep bruises and probably broken bones was alarming. Some of his ribs must have been damaged too according to his labored breath. The eggs worked collectively to reset the broken arm, getting the most reaction from the snake they did since they arrived. One egg getting flung against a wall by a tail whip as the injured reptile yelped in pain and answered to the sudden increase of pain in an instinctively violent way. The egg was seriously cracked and wouldn't be going far anymore. The others looked at their fallen comrade a few seconds before getting back to the task at hand, hoping not to elect this kind of reaction again. They dressed the wounds as well as they could.  
By the time they were finished he seemed a little bit more aware of his surroundings as he looked at his minions in a dazed way and he spoke in a near whisper "I'll get back at this asshole for this, who does he think he's dealing with ?". The eggs exploded in cheers at the idea, ready to go to battle for their boss. Sir Pentious had a little smile at this before falling asleep, exhaustion having caught up on him.

As they noticed he had fallen asleep they quietened, stared at him for a few seconds before moving to get the blanket to cover him and make him more comfortable. They stayed on the bed with him, awake and aware, watching over their injured boss as he slept.

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_**I have a few more story ideas, but I write faster with reviews. Honestly I have a tendency to simply abandon story that don't get any reaction (favorites or follows) to try to create others that will please people better. To continue a story that's ignored by people is just useless, might as well move on.**_

_**I appreciated the one review I got for the first one shot of this collection. It was simple and direct, but amused me and worked to motivate me.**_


End file.
